Aging Nicely

Good article about maturing. I think it's true. Learn to take care of yourself, then you're free to just enjoy other people, and they're free to enjoy you. And relaaaaaax.

Mine the Matter

5K yesterday
Lady Gaga, Artpop (meh, her other albums are better to run to)
Sunny & warm, 13 degrees C

Just a quickie before Easter dinner. I feel like I'm really into my body now. I spent my first 33 years focused more on my mind, and the body was a secondary thought. I was never very active, and when I tried, it was difficult and awkward because I was focused on proper steps and not the muscles themselves. Over the past 3 years I have completely changed, and the changes just keep getting deeper. The secret I've found is to let the mind go, get rid of stray thoughts and anything internal that distracts, and strive toward attaining full body "mindfulness". Matter over mind, or at least mind and matter together as one. I guess what I'm discovering and building off of is most likely covered in studies like kinesiology or sports medicine. I used to dismiss that entire area; I never went to the gym section of university when I was there, and only ever walked through the building when I used the parking lot by the Oval.

Right now the science of the body really interests me, but not in the sense that I want to go learn "properly" from others and work towards a degree. I don't even want to go to yoga or any type exercise class (pole dancing, however, I would make an exception for - and lately, my thoughts have been turning towards ballet, of all things. Beginner through advanced adult ballet classes exist, and I am so glad). I'm having fun on my own, trying out different stretches and taking note of what muscles are in use when. I'm more like an old-time rogue scientist, going it alone. Everything I need to learn about my body is already inside me. I don't need to know anatomical terms; I don't even need to think thoughts, I just need to know what feels right and focus on carrying on the feeling of right through every position, and get practiced to the point that I can feel right whenever I want. To the point that I don't even have to focus, and I just feel right period.

I think strength and endurance is being able to stay at ease in any position. You don't want to be floppy and too relaxed and loose, and you don't want to have everything tight and strained. The muscles, joints and skeleton need to be kept steady but remain loose. As full body strength increases, it gets easier to be easy. If stress is evenly spread throughout the frame, nothing is impacted or strained. If I'm running and I focus on the body as a whole and feel my joints space out and then the muscles pulling in to hold the bones, it feels like I'm flying and it's easy to keep going. The visualization I currently use is of a stick figure made of pipe cleaners, with the spinal column made of something stronger that stays solid. My limbs can move easily and bend but they are each one long piece- the leg is one long muscle from hip to toe, rather than a thigh connected to a calf with the knee in the middle. The shoulders and hips are a T that goes across the spine, and they are like a steady cam in that they can easily move up and down and side to side but do so smoothly. My spine moves up and down on hydraulics.

Written out like that, it is so many words and takes up so much room. With body language it can be explained in just a few literal steps.


Stop correcting peoples' goddamn grammar and nitpicking them to death. Who the fuck cares?

Everybody is strange.

A person isn't crazy for being emotional or for messily communicating. You're the fucked up one if you make them feel like they are.

If you are waiting to speak your mouth should just stay shut.

Why I have mostly stopped taking photos.

(as much as I hate that "I'm on a journey" shit, the sentiment is the same)

True confidence means nobody bugs you.

Nay polish

It's very hard to give away free nail polish.

For the past few days I've been helping give away freebies with a friend who works in promotions. They're all done up in pretty little bags, with a "colorscope" personality profile card and a coupon for a free mascara included. They're full sized bottles of quick-dry polish by Essence and all fun colours- purple, blue, orangey red and neon green.

Anyways, the target age of 18-30 is a tricky one. So suspicious. Maybe they think there are mini bibles inside, or that we're trying to poison them.

I'm definitely not doing this for the money. I think the hours spent will have it shake out at $5-7/hr. It's something to do though, and I get to hang out with somebody fun. And I get all of the colours for myself.

I have no idea where my kid put the blue one though.

Earth day

I just got back from the school's Earth Day assembly. Q's class was leading it this month (the classes all take turns, and they are monthly).

I am, as the Aussies say, gutted. A major cause of the black dog of depression for me is the impending doom of climate change. Each study that the UN releases further cements my fear that we are going to be scratching around in the dirt for something to eat like chickens in a few decades. I'm terrified about it. It's so sad to see these kids talk about saving the Earth. They are so earnest and trusting in us adults. I hope it turns around for them, as futile as it may be.

Sigh. Earth day greetings to you. I can't say "happy".


It all makes sense... the notifications from my various compromised online accounts were most likely due to Heartbleed. I'm relieved that I don't have an online stalker. The other side of that, though, is that I'M NOT STALK-WORTHY. Sigh.

It doesn't explain the open Facebook sessions in Northern Alberta, though. Hmm. Maybe I'm a little bit stalk-worthy?

A gal can dream.

Lemon Meringue

I saw this tattoo and... I kinda like it.

Lemon meringue pie is probably my favourite of the pies. It's never as good as when my Mom or Granny made it. Homemade crust makes all the difference. Shiriff lemon filling is essential. My mom would sometimes just make the filling and fill pudding cups to set in the fridge. Key lime? Too sweet. Yuck. It has to be lemon.

I wonder if my new guy would just keep one standing appointment per month so I can add piecework to my traditional arm. In one year I'd be done.