Stop correcting peoples' goddamn grammar and nitpicking them to death. Who the fuck cares?

Everybody is strange.

A person isn't crazy for being emotional or for messily communicating. You're the fucked up one if you make them feel like they are.

If you are waiting to speak your mouth should just stay shut.

Why I have mostly stopped taking photos.

(as much as I hate that "I'm on a journey" shit, the sentiment is the same)

True confidence means nobody bugs you.

Nay polish

It's very hard to give away free nail polish.

For the past few days I've been helping give away freebies with a friend who works in promotions. They're all done up in pretty little bags, with a "colorscope" personality profile card and a coupon for a free mascara included. They're full sized bottles of quick-dry polish by Essence and all fun colours- purple, blue, orangey red and neon green.

Anyways, the target age of 18-30 is a tricky one. So suspicious. Maybe they think there are mini bibles inside, or that we're trying to poison them.

I'm definitely not doing this for the money. I think the hours spent will have it shake out at $5-7/hr. It's something to do though, and I get to hang out with somebody fun. And I get all of the colours for myself.

I have no idea where my kid put the blue one though.

Earth day

I just got back from the school's Earth Day assembly. Q's class was leading it this month (the classes all take turns, and they are monthly).

I am, as the Aussies say, gutted. A major cause of the black dog of depression for me is the impending doom of climate change. Each study that the UN releases further cements my fear that we are going to be scratching around in the dirt for something to eat like chickens in a few decades. I'm terrified about it. It's so sad to see these kids talk about saving the Earth. They are so earnest and trusting in us adults. I hope it turns around for them, as futile as it may be.

Sigh. Earth day greetings to you. I can't say "happy".


It all makes sense... the notifications from my various compromised online accounts were most likely due to Heartbleed. I'm relieved that I don't have an online stalker. The other side of that, though, is that I'M NOT STALK-WORTHY. Sigh.

It doesn't explain the open Facebook sessions in Northern Alberta, though. Hmm. Maybe I'm a little bit stalk-worthy?

A gal can dream.

Lemon Meringue

I saw this tattoo and... I kinda like it.

Lemon meringue pie is probably my favourite of the pies. It's never as good as when my Mom or Granny made it. Homemade crust makes all the difference. Shiriff lemon filling is essential. My mom would sometimes just make the filling and fill pudding cups to set in the fridge. Key lime? Too sweet. Yuck. It has to be lemon.

I wonder if my new guy would just keep one standing appointment per month so I can add piecework to my traditional arm. In one year I'd be done.


My social circle has been expanding over the past few years, and now I find myself with a lot of male friends. Women too, of course, but male friends are pretty new to me. I've had one friendship with a guy for a long time (about 18 years now!) but other than boyfriends, he was the only one until fairly recent.

I'm starting to relax about it now that it's become a normal thing for me, but it took a long time to not feel weird around guys. I've always been nervous around them. I desperately wanted attention from males, but also was terrified when I received it. Quite often I would become infatuated with a guy just because he smiled at me. Then, once he made "a move" I would shut down and completely ignore him. It was never a game or a negative reaction, it was plain old shyness. I had no idea how to behave around these other creatures, so I just wouldn't behave any way at all. I would become devastated when they took my silence for a rejection, and I'd also hide that (of course). I remember being shocked when I heard that I was labelled a frigid snob. It was an equal shock that I had been talked about in the first place. Luckily though, this "tactic" worked in my favour because only the guys who REALLY liked me would suffer punishment and continually beat their heads against the invisible wall to eventually break through. Guys who were only out for superficial fun moved on right away (which there is nothing wrong with either- females are just as capable of having "no strings attached" fun times too), and the ones who stuck around were the ones who wanted something more. Despite myself, I ended up getting the meaningful attention I wanted, and they got... whatever it is that guys see in me. I guess I must have some qualities.

Now that I'm not such a lamebrain around men and can relax and not fall in love at the drop of a hat, I'm noticing some common qualities in the ones that I get along with the best. They're all funny. They are all very masculine, but they all have a thoughtful and emotional side, too. They're all patient for the most part, but can have a temper too when pushed (like me). They all listen to me and seem to be interested in me as a person. I've never attracted assholes, which I'm really grateful for now. I never fell into the battered woman cycle.

There's so much societal crap built up around gender differences. There are differences, but I don't know if they exist because we've been told they do. Now that there are more men in my life I realize that my really good women friends share a lot of the same qualities as these new male ones, which leads me to believe that at the core we are all very similar.

In short, I love dudes. They are great. I'm so happy to be good friends with a bunch of them. I'm glad I'm not as socially stunted anymore. Thumbs up for guys!

Not paranoid enough!

My last post wasn't paranoid enough. While changing my Facebook pwd, I found out there were two other active sessions open! In Fort MacMurray and Sherwood Park! One place I've never been to, and one I visited back in 1985.

Hmmmm. This gives me the skeevies indeed. Indeed. Terror level: Orange.

The best thing to do is to be public about it, yes?